I Love Disciplining My Daughter

Before I was a dad I was influenced with great understanding of biblical parenthood. I have always looked fondly forward to being a father, so I took this parenting advice very seriously. And I often would try to influence others with the same biblical insight. Inevitably, people would respond with statements such as, "Yeah, you say that now. You just wait. You'll change your tune." I really hate that (and still do). Still, I had never experienced being a parent and wondered how things might play out differently than I thought they would. Sure, my perfect plan for parenting looks good on paper, but what will I tweak when I'm actually standing there and I must take action? I am happy to say that I have had to tweak hardly anything. What's even more surprising is the ease with which I slid into the role of father. I even find myself loving to discipline my daughter. And I'm loving it more and more. She's not very old, but she definitely understands what no means. In fact, a couple of weeks ago a child snatched a toy from her hands. She told him, "No" and pointed to her hand (where my wife and I most often discipline her). As her father, that makes me proud and it encourages me to strive in discipling her consistently. When I make a statement like this people either look at me very oddly or reach for the phone to call social services. But, I truly do enjoy slapping my daughter's hand. Does this mean that I enjoy her defiant grunt or pain-induced cry? Certainly not. However, it does mean that I have been strongly influenced by a long view of things. When I spank my daughter it is as if I am teaching her right from wrong. Ultimately, this will culminate in a presentation of the gospel. I want her to see that it is good to choose right and that my love for her causes me to inflict her with pain for a little while. (Although, sometimes I think it is just as much a pride issue as it is a pain issue.) When done correctly, biblical discipline will (generally) produce great rewards. And I love my daughter too much not to slap her hand for doing wrong.

Rethinking Some Idolatry

Can I really love my child too much? The more I think about this question, the more I become convinced that the answer is "No." Throughout my Christian upbringing I have been taught that I can love anything too much. Traditional teaching on this says that when I love my child too much I am committing spiritual idolatry because I am loving him/her more than my Lord. I want to challenge that thought. Where in Scripture does it define idolizing people that way? I can't find any passage that teaches that. If you can, please let me know. However, I suggest a different way of looking at the "problem." Typically, we compare our love for God against our love for other things (money, sex, children, etc.). We talk about this in a way that says we need to prioritize these things biblically (God, family, church, etc.). We give God priority in these things, as we should. But should we make distinctions between these things? I think we should. We are told to not to love certain things (Hebrews 13:5). And we are told to love other people (Matthew 22:36). What I am putting forth is that we should love people and should not love things. Sure, we often talk that way and say, "I love these new shoes." Most of us don't mean it in the same way as "I love my mom." If we do, then there's a problem. What bearing does this have on idolatry? Well, remember the original question? I don't think we can love people too much. Sure, we can wrongly prioritize our love for people. For instance, a woman can desert her husband for another man. However, I don't think it is possible to love another person too much. As long as I love my Lord more than any other person, then I am free to love them as much as I want. This is where I believe the problem comes in our understanding of idolatry. Idolatry is to love something more than the Lord. So, perhaps the problem is our capacity of love for God. What we should do is confess our lack of love to the Lord and ask Him to change our hearts. We need to cry out to Him, seeing that our love for Him pales in comparison to our love for someone else. Our prayer should reflect the thoughts in Luke 14:26, which says, "If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot be my disciple."

Understanding the Old Testament: Reading Someone Else's Mail

Often, Christians have difficulty understanding and applying the Old Testament. It seems so far removed from our life today. After all, we don't worry about wearing clothes made of different materials or how we should shave biblically (Lev. 19). The New Testament writings seem so much easier to understand, in contrast. We can turn to them and receive instruction to apply to our lives in a more direct fashion. Or can we? In the same way I don't concern myself over biblical shaving, I don't ask my wife to wear a head covering (1 Cor. 11). (Although, some men would and I respect them for obeying their conscience.) The reason I don't do this is that I am not a member of the church of Corinth. This letter was not written directly to me. I must filter what it says in order to understand what it is saying to me today. Then, I must consider how to apply what I understand. The same is true with the Old Testament, isn't it? I am not a Jew living in that time. So, I must filter what it says in order to understand what it is saying to me today. Same method. I think this means that we shouldn't let studying the Old Testament become as intimidating as it seems to many Christians. Also, it should give us cause to pause as we interpret and apply the New Testament. Anyone else have any thoughts about this?